hilariouspuns:

What did the parking garage say when one of his levels was removed?

"That took a lot out of me"

hilariouspuns:

what’s a cannibal’s favorite snack

doritoes

hilariouspuns:

The romantic cat: Romeow

silvertongue-turnedtolead:

theannieplanet:

so im babysitting this girl right now and we’re watching tv and the satellite sort of cut out cause it was raining really hard
so i just said “thunder god if you give back our satellite i’ll give you ice cream”
a second later the thunder clapped again and our tv came back
the girl is forcing me to hold up my end of the deal so guess who’s making ice cream for the thunder god

image

Second English lesson of the day

imsceneandherd:

sherlookatme:

iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:

‘Effect’ is a noun. ‘Look at the effect he’s had on you.’

‘Affect’ is a verb. ‘I think he’s starting to affect you.’

I HAVE NEEDED THIS FOR SO LONG GOD BLESS YOU

A ffect is an A ction.

E ffect is an E nd result.

aurathestar:

nico-di-angelcake:

dragons that live in volcanoes and coat themselves in lava

dragons that live underwater and have fish scales instead of dragon scales

dragons that live in fields of flowers and breathe out avalanches of flowers instead of fire

DRAGONS BEING COOL AS SHIT

dragons that live in nebulae and exhale colorful dust and baby stars

dragons made out of mountains breathing out tiny pebbles 

hurricane dragons breathing out mist and rain

dragons

adorability:

I love when you become so close with someone that you can see parts of each other in one another and you begin to say the same things and steal lines from one another and have a similar sense of humor and can exchange an inside joke with just a glance you don’t even have to talk because you have such a strong connection with them and you can sit in comfortable silence but also talk for hours it’s really hard to find that kind of compatibility

PA